Gaining Clarity By Using Multiple Tarot and Oracle Decks

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The Fortuneteller, Mikhail Vrubel

In the past on my own blog I’ve talked about the fundamental differences between tarot cards and oracle decks. I’ve also shared here about how I complement my tarot readings by using other systems of divination such as the I-Ching. Now I’d like to explore how readers use multiple decks of cards in the same reading or in multiple readings on the same issue.

Most of the cartomancers I know own several, if not several dozen, different decks of cards. And most of them, if they aren’t outright card collectors, own different types of decks, not only tarot. Card readers often use various decks to suit their mood, question, or need, such as playing card decks or oracles like the Lenormand or the Vera Sibilla.

Sometimes, a reading will end by presenting additional issues that need further depth to fully clarify. Perhaps the initial question was something that was already generally understood, and the cards nudge the recipient of the reading to push a bit more to get to the real nitty gritty. That happened to me in a reading today, where I was left with an overabundance of swords (!) and not knowing how to proceed or handle that, given that the initial scope of the reading was already complete. You can see this reading at my post What To Ask When You Don’t Know What To Ask.

I’m going to explore this issue further by using a combination of card decks.

First, I want to spend some more time with my newest deck, Rebecca Schoenecker’s Creatures of the Moon oracle.

When you want to gain clarity into a murky issue, it can be helpful to start with a broad question to an oracle to gain a general overview of the scenario and its main theme or themes in your current life path.

Referring back to my previous reading, I ask:

“What are the cards Judgement, 10 of Swords and 8 of Swords trying to tell me about what’s coming into my life now?”

Rebecca’s deck is a unique double-sided one, with a moon side and a creature side. I got it because one of my aims this year is to connect more deeply with the moon cycles and learn about their different energies.

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On the moon side, I got Waning Moon Fourteen. Even though I don’t know much about the moon cycles yet and haven’t used this deck much yet, I can immediately see how the super narrow sliver of a waning moon could easily symbolize the closing of a chapter shown in the 10 of Swords and the step just before the deep transformation and rebirth of Judgement.

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As for the creature side, I got the snake of Courage, and this also comes as no surprise because all those swords look mighty challenging, especially the work that will be required to step out of the psychological limitations I’ve imposed on myself shown in the 8 of Swords. And it goes without saying that answering the clarion call of Judgement requires a huge dose of courage; how else might one have the audacity and strength to rise up from the proverbial dead?

Rebecca’s deck comes with a lush full-color, 296-page LWB (which is neither white nor little). Waning Moon Fourteen is in fact the last waning moon card in the deck. Rebecca says that Waning Moon Fourteen is the skin of Snake. The story of Snake perfectly reflects that of Judgement in my previous reading:

The uncomfortable process of shedding your skin shows that as Snake, you are filled with true grit. You need to trust that change may not be clear, but that the end results clothe a new you.

In fact, the people who rise up from their tombs on the Judgement card are of course unclothed. Rebecca also mentions the symbolism of the ouroboros and the cyclical nature of life and death. Metaphorically speaking, this oracle card reflects Judgement and further indicates a transformative process. She says the message of Snake is to embrace change with courage.

Already now I have more food for thought and reflection. I can move further in this process by bringing in the Lenormand. Even a simple three-card spread can give some information. I learned the following easy spread from Marcus Katz and Tali Goodwin’s Learning Lenormand, which I found to be a good beginner book for me.

For this reading, I decide to charge the Lady card to represent me. The process involves taking the card out of the deck and concentrating on it for a moment to “charge” it. Then, shuffling and cutting as normal, after which, you go through the cards face-up until you find the charged card, in this case, the Lady. You then lay the card before it and after it on each side and you have your three-card spread. (You can increase the cards as you wish, for a five, seven, or larger card spread).

I ask the cards:

“In what area of my life is this upcoming transformation going to manifest?”

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Fish + Lady + Garden

The fish represent money, generally speaking, and increased material abundance in terms of projects. The Garden is about being social and expanding networking and opportunities with others. It could be that change is coming in terms of increased money from work through more contacts.

I expanded it out two cards further and got:

Mountain + Fish + Lady + Garden + Tower

Perhaps this money/social transformation is couched within overcoming an obstacle or sticking point and then needing to become more strategic and long-range visionary in overseeing my career, without isolating myself. Tower can also indicate security from risks and thus could be the natural outgrowth of a transformation towards increased material abundance in work and widened social contacts.

All true things. And, all things I’m aware of but don’t feel the ambition or energy to pursue at the moment. (Maybe that’s why Judgement needs to trumpet his horn and get me to rise up from my “dead” position. But I’m tired!)

Further questions can abound, especially regarding how to best approach the transformation and work with it to bring it successfully about.

When you need additional clarity on a reading, don’t be hesitant about bringing out different decks and different oracles. It can be eye-opening to see how the same message and themes are expressed across different vehicles. You’ll also increase your symbolic vocabulary as well as your ability to translate the imagery of the cards into practical, everyday scenarios. Plus, you’ll be practicing through different mediums which increases your overall cartomantic fluency.

Your thoughts?

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Do You Have To Believe in Tarot For It To Work?

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I have often heard people tell me, “Oh, but I don’t believe in the tarot.” I’ve heard that almost as much as I’ve had people ask me: “But how does tarot work?”

The idea that one has to believe in the tarot in order for it to work puts it on the same level as either 1) religion or 2) chicanery.

The idea that tarot either does or does not work implies that it sometimes can go right and sometimes can go wrong, much like a car or a computer, running smooth on some days and broken down on others.

In my opinion, there’s nothing inherent in the deck in which to necessarily believe. I think the declaration from people that they “don’t believe” in the cards comes from not understanding what the cards are about and how they can be used, and perhaps fearing them for that same reason. It’s a way to dismiss the cards as insignificant, unimportant, unworthy of faith, silly; and as such, reassuringly impotent, unintimidating, docile, unthreatening. We know that ignorance breeds fear. And doesn’t organized religion often require a firm belief in its tenets so as to keep the faithful in line (controlled, manageable, unempowered)?

Tarot doesn’t ask anyone to believe anything. It simply exists and is available as a tool, as a mirror, to those who wish to consult it.

There’s no need to associate belief with tarot. There’s nothing to believe in.

As far as how it “works,” that’s another story. When I asked that very question to my tarot teacher Enrique Enriquez, his immediate response was: “Who said it works?”

This one is a bit tongue-in-cheek, because obviously those of us who have a tarot practice wouldn’t spend time with the cards like we do if we weren’t getting some benefit. So I’m not dismissing the cards here as saying they have no use or no purpose. But the idea of them either “working” or not working is a loaded question.

I appealed to some of my friends and colleagues for an answer; if you haven’t read “Five Tarot Experts Explain How Tarot Works,” I encourage you to have a look.

It’s important to take the multiple layers of mysterious, imposed potency off of the cards. It’s important for readers to stop insisting that other people agree with them that the cards are useful, special, magical. Tarot is not a religion, it’s a practice. Tarot cards are not imbued with super powers. They don’t either work or not work.

What makes them so special, then? Why are people afraid of them? Why do people sometimes dismiss them, fear them, belittle them, or impose otherworldly powers upon them? Why do those of us who use them keep coming back to them, despite all the misunderstanding?

Well, let’s ask the cards themselves.

  1. What’s the most misunderstood aspect of tarot?
  2. What’s at the core of a tarot reading?
  3. What’s the best way to sum up the cards?

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In the 8 of Cups we see someone actively walking away from a set-up that seemed nearly perfect, but something was missing. No matter how hard this person tried to make things work, to fit the square peg into the round hole, it simply wasn’t going to ever be the way the seeker, the person walking away in the image, wanted it or needed it to be. As such, he or she is walking away from something that he or she invested heart and soul in, but is now letting go of. This person understands, even if it’s hard to acknowledge, that it makes no sense to keep devoting energy, time, heart, and soul to something that is clearly never going to change.

In my interpretation the most misunderstood aspect of tarot, then, according to this card, is that it isn’t about having all the answers tied up with a pretty bow and presented to you in a perfect gift box. It’s about seeking the answers and being honest about what you receive, and knowing when to take action, even if it hurts to do so, because it furthers your personal growth. It’s about knowing when to walk away, knowing when to give up, knowing when to let go. (In fact, I’d say this flies right in the face of the pop-culture notion of tarot as providing neat and accurate “hits” or predictions that give querents the answers and outcomes they desire, or, on the other extreme, cards that foretell of terrifying and unavoidable doom. Both of these concepts remove agency from the seeker. Tarot doesn’t show you what you want, it shows you what you need.)

At the core of a tarot reading is speed, and news. The 8 of Wands is about getting a message fast, about events moving at lightning speed, and about not having enough time to fully digest and comprehend everything that’s swirling around you. At its core, tarot goes straight to the heart of the matter before you even realize what’s happening. You either learn how to dance with this, or you resist it, or you try to rationalize your way out of it, or you try to control it. But at its core, it’s like a speeding bullet. You either consciously ride the fast current of the river, or you get swept up in it and carried away.

The best way to sum up the cards is the 4 of Swords – total silence and stillness. I’ve often had people tell me, after their first-ever reading, that they think “everyone” should have a reading, because it “puts you in touch with your inner self.” Let’s get quiet, and still, and listen, and stop. That’s what the cards can do for us. They can give us respite, a place to be silent and reflect, a place to recuperate and to regenerate, a place to completely stop and focus.

Your thoughts?

Meeting the Mermaid: An Interview With Dame Darcy

I've known Dame Darcy as a comic book writer for years. She was the creative mind behind Meatcake, a mind-blowing comic that mixed romance, mermaids, strange characters with interesting names like Wax Wolf, StregaPrez or Scampi the Selfish Shellfish, Victorian landscapes, tutorials on how to make dolls, goth chicks and whatever else caught her fancy.

She also used elements of the tarot in one of those. In a four panel page, Dame Darcy was able to synthesize the essential about the minors. You can check it out below:

For someone that grew on a steady diet of superheroes, Meatcake was a breath of fresh air and made me realize how much I was attracted to weirdness. Meatcake was dark and funny and campy and strange all at the same time, and you never knew what to expect from the next story. Only that it would be fun.

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Fast forward to 2015. I was browsing some facebook postings and I saw someone talking about a Mermaid deck created by Dame Darcy. The very same Dame Darcy that created those Meatcake comics. Which, of course, meant, that I had to have them. It also meant that another of my favorite comic book creators also had a foot on the magic scene.

And just this year, the Meatcake Bible, which for the first time collected all those Meatcake stories in one single volume, got a nomination for the Eisner Awards for Best Graphic Album – Reprint category. While it didn't end up winning the prize, just getting nominated for what is considered "the Oscars of comics" was already quite a feat and a recognition of the quality of her comics work. And it also gave me the perfect reason to reach out to her and bring a little of her mermaidness to you. After all, we're supposed to be a maelstrom here, and what's a maelstrom without some mermaids?

1) What brought you over to tarot and, since you've published a book about it (The Handbook for Hot Witches), magic?

I set a goal, then I trust the Goddess to guide me, every day.
Working towards the goal, I watch for the signs she shows to guide me on the path of least resistance. Repetitive numbers appearing as confirmation is one kind of sign.
The basic outline of my experiences here have been that, sometimes frustrating or infuriating circumstances will lead to an ultimate unexpected reward and one must remember to be patient.
Making a mermaid tarot deck is one way to serve the ancient mermaid Goddess Yamaya and writing an occult book for children on a main stream publisher like Holt makes me so happy!
When I lived in LA I didn't like how my Latina students were treated like second class citizens in what was originally Mexico. And I felt like the billboards with all the white girls weren't honoring diversity and celebrating different kinds of beauty.
My students inspired me to write Hand Book For Hot Witches as well as my FairyGodchildren.

2) In both your Meakcake comics and the Handbook for Hot Witches you've made a point in showing how being different was actually a good thing that brought richness, creativity and diversity to the world. And yet, you've identified yourself as a mermaid, and even put out a Mermaid tarot deck. But mermaids have traditionally been associated with bad omens and dangerous events, the story of the goddess Atargatis who transforms herself into a mermaid after unintentionally murdering her human lover immediately comes to mind. How do you see the mermaid as an agent of change in this world?

Like the ocean, Mermaids can be beautiful mysterious and happy sparkiling creatures, representing the glorious days spent at sea when the weather is clear and bright. Bringing joy and abundance to all who love the sea. It is the source of all life on this planet.
My parent's named me Darcy Megan which means Dark Sea Pearl. How they knew I was going to be a goth mermaid when I grew up is very intuitive of them. And I embrace the dark side of mermaids. Everyone should fear and respect the ocean because Tsunami’s and shipwrecks are not a joke.

All the sad things going on with climate change nowadays and the ocean kills me. I wish plastic had never been invented. Or the corporate jerks who don’t take responsibility for its clean up, and one day they will all be stopped. Ultimately, the ocean will win and humanity will lose if they keep it up.

3) Also in your Handbook for Hot Witches, you've mentioned in passage how witches were related with storytellers and how rhymes and songs were important in spells and chants. Being a tarot reader (and deck maker), what do you think is the song of the tarot?

I made the tarot to be lyrical and romantic like a song, and even in one review someone said they could tell I was a musician.
I think the song of my Mermaid Tarot would be a sea shanty.

4) Browsing through your Mermaid deck, there's a noticeable Waite-Smith (WS) vibe there, specially in the minors. At the same time, the court cards and the majors often deviate from that WS matrix. What made you choose the WS tarot as a backbone for your own deck, and why did you choose to present different images for the Majors (for the most part) and the courts?

The first time I saw a tarot deck was my mom’s classic Ryder Waite from 1971.
I’ll never forget one night Mom’s friend was visiting us in Idaho from LA, and they were in the back room sitting by the fire. My mom’s long light auburn hair hung like a curtain with the fire glowing through it as she placed the cards in front of her friend to tell her a story of her life.
I thought it was very entrancing. When I was a teen witch my Mom bought me my own deck in Highschool, but I lost it sadly.
Then my friend Kat Bjelland from Babes in Toyland bought me another Rider Waite deck about ten years ago which I still use now.
I loved the atmosphere of the illustrations and have tried to emulate and recreate this kind of drawing style influenced by the Ryder Waite deck as well as illustrations from turn of the century fairytale books in my comics.

5) Comics are a form of visual narrative and the same could be said about the tarot. Both have their own distinct approach, and yet, there are several similarities between them. Having worked with both, how did your comics work and your tarot work influenced each other? And how do you think comics can help with tarot reading skills?

I was raised catholic and I always loved how the catholic church has stained glass windows that tell a visual sequencial narrative like comics.
When I decided to do a tarot deck I was very inspired by the fact it is also another form of sequencial art. And I couldn’t wait to do a nautical themed one with mermaids as the key characters.
The next tarot deck I want to produce will be based on the characters from my comic book Meat Cake.

 

 

You can contact Dame Darcy through her site, here. The Meatcake Bible can be bought over at amazon, at Fantagraphics or through Dame Darcy's online shop. Her tarot deck, now on its third edition, can be bought directly from her also from her shop. As for the Handbook for Hot Witches, you can get it from amazon and Dame Darcy's online shop.

How To Use Tarot To Interpret Dreams

How To Use TarotTo Interpret Dreams

Tarot cards are an excellent tool for helping you find meaning and understanding in your dreams. Using the cards is more personalized than using a generic dream interpretation book, which knows nothing about your personal history or unconscious impulses. With the cards, you can take the information you receive and incorporate it with your own information to form a complete picture.

The heart of Jungian psychoanalysis lies in analyzing the messages your unconscious delivers to you via your dreams. The idea is that your dream material is what’s ready to emerge from the lower iceberg of your unconscious, so that you can now work with this material, integrate it and move forward in a more complete way. You can use your cards to perform this function on your own. Although it isn’t psychoanalysis, it is a valid instrument to gauge what’s going on underneath the surface and help you work with your hidden “stuff” that’s ready to be examined.

Today I’ll use myself as an example so you can see how this process works.

I follow my dreams and often remember them. I’d suggest that you don’t “force” remembering your dreams but rather allow the ones that stick with you to emerge. Work with the material that seems to call for your attention.

Over the past few years I’ve had a recurring dream from time to time that varies in setting and some particulars, but never wavers from its basic theme: my first serious boyfriend (who I broke up with at 20 after nearly two years, for no other reason than I was young and wanted to experience the world, not be tied down) returns to me in my dream and I desperately want to reunite with him. He, however, is unavailable and although he comes close in the dream and at times even indicates he wants to be with me too, he always leaves or is always somehow prevented from being with me (usually it’s because he has another girlfriend).

The most recent iteration of this dream was the most dramatic; I stood before him and looked right into his eyes and said in all sincerity: “Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Here is a three-card spread I devised that you can also use for any dream image or message that you’d like more insight about and are ready to really delve into and work with consciously:

  1. What message is this dream showing me?
  2. How can I work with and integrate this message?
  3. What’s the next step?

For my example, I used the Thoth Tarot. While I generally rely on the RWS for most of my readings, I opted for the Thoth as it appeals to me in terms of dream work. The images on the deck are much more nuanced and have a dreamlike quality about them. Since I feel I haven’t fully penetrated this deck’s depth (and perhaps never will, because it really has that bottomless-well quality to it), it seemed the perfect match for working with dream imagery.

Here are the cards I received for my mysterious, recurring ex-boyfriend dream:

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With the Thoth, I first like to allow the images to soak in and I take my initial impressions without any additional input. The immediate message to me of the 7 of Cups here is that we have something that has “gone bad.” It made me think of spoiled fruit, something that’s past its expiration date. It’s no longer fresh. Hence, we can garner an immediate interpretation that the dream is trying to show me that my ideas about “going back” to this ex or still desiring him, or imagining that “he was the one that got away” all those years ago, are mistaken. This is a “relationship” that exists only in the realm of things that are spoiled and overgrown, rotten and unsuitable to eat.

Secondly I noticed the opposing symmetry between the 7 of Cups and the 7 of Swords. Such a profound difference. It’s as if all the muck we see in the initial card is purified and clarified and made razor sharp in the third card, in the “next step” after we pass through the integration phase in the second card. Clearly the cards are showing a way forward. Further, if you look closely at the 7 of Swords, there’s a planetary symbol hanging off the point of each sword, with the moon being indicated in the central position. For me this points to being called on to trust my inner knowing and intuition, my emotions and heart impulses, mystery rather than logic, when it comes to taking the next step in terms of relationships.

The middle card for me is such a departure from the two “bookend” cards here, that it seems to be the major message and lesson. In fact, I often see the Knight of Pentacles in my RWS readings when I ask the cards about my love life and future. They continually, continually insist that I must focus on and “go for” the stable man, the one who doesn’t move, the one who’s real, concrete, loyal, faithful, grounded, etc. Here then, we see an example of how the cards repeat their messages across decks and across time.

You can also turn to references for additional information. I absolutely adore the book by Lon Milo Duquette, Understanding Aleister Crowley’s Thoth Tarot.

In terms of the first card, “what message is this dream showing me?”, Duquette says the original title of the 7 of Cups is “Lord of Illusionary Success” (which immediately makes me think about the castles in the sky in the RWS 7 of Cups and how what we think is real or available or possible isn’t always the case). I immediately realize my ideas and longing for this past relationship and my romanticizing of it belong to a world of illusions. In fact, in the card itself, you can see how the lotus plants are covering each cup, much like an umbrella, and as Duquette points out, “all the cups are empty.” We’re reminded there’s no love here, there’s no substance here, there’s nothing here to nurture or grow. Duquette says:

This is much-too-much of what was once a good thing and, this low on the tree and this far off balance, there isn’t a single influencing factor left to remind her the party’s over.

At this point I feel I understand the message that’s trying to break through: what you think is this perfect past relationship really isn’t how you imagine it at all. It’s not real, and it’s not available to be revived.

Granted, this was always obvious to me on a semi-conscious level, but a part of me continued to want to cling to the idea or fantasy. This is where the cards help hammer home the message of the dream.

Moving to the final card, despite the keyword “futility” (I often ignore the Thoth keywords, because they distract me and I don’t get into the Kabbalah aspects of the cards), Duquette mentions Crowley said this card is “like a rheumatic boxer trying to ‘come back’ after being out of the ring for years.”

As it regards my love life, I’ve been “out of the ring” so to speak for about six years as I’ve been floundering around in the dating world since my divorce, coming up not with any healthy fish but rather seaweed and tin cans. In his divinatory meanings, Duquette mentions: “Yielding when victory is within grasp, as if the last reserves of strength were used up. Inclination to lose when on the point of gaining, through not continuing the effort.” This makes sense to me in terms of my love life. I often go for the unavailable or inherently impossible, and then give up when it inevitably doesn’t yield results, which takes us back to the central card, the Prince of Disks.

Everything about Disks suggests stability to me. Duquette suggests Crowley’s prince represents “the ultimate handyman.” Crowley’s take: “He is competent, ingenious, thoughtful, cautious, trustworthy, imperturbable; he constantly seeks new uses for common things.”

Once again I feel I’m being shown the direction for the “right” man in my life – if only I can accept and integrate the messages of letting go of expired illusions and take the next step of understanding how I might get “just this close” and then somehow abandon ship.

Using the tarot to work with dreams is a very organic process. By that, I mean you need to really allow yourself to be fluid and accept what comes through as resonating with you, rather than sticking to super strict rules or interpretations. Dreams offer the messages we’re ready to receive, much as the cards do.

How To Use TarotTo Interpret Dreams

How Tarot and I-Ching Work Together

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If you use tarot for divination, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t explore other systems of divination as well.

Although runic divination is on my bucket list (and if it’s on yours as well, enjoy this gorgeous post from Camelia’s archives, Renewed (M)antics), the complementary system I use most often with tarot is that of the I-Ching, or the Book of Changes.

Because my tarot practice is largely based on the principles of humanistic psychology, empowered decision-making and self-determination, it was only natural that I would discover the I-Ching in the course of my reading and research over the years. I came to this system of divination by way of the work of Carl Jung, who was working with the oracle some 30 years prior to meeting sinologist Richard Wilhelm. Wilhelm’s translation of the I-Ching remains one of the most well known.

For those of you who know not a thing about the I-Ching, let’s back up for a moment.

What is the I-Ching?

The I-Ching is a book that, according to my favorite I-Ching translator, the Taoist Master Alfred Huang, existed more than two thousand years before Confucius (ca. 551-479 B.C.). Just think about that for a moment. Ancient doesn’t even begin to describe this work.

Huang says the I-Ching was originally a handbook for divination, and only later, once Confucius wrote his commentaries, did it become a book of ancient wisdom. He goes on to say:

It is a book that not only tells one who consults it about the present situation and future potential but also gives instruction about what to do and what not to do to obtain good fortune and avoid misfortune. But one still retains free choice.

Hence it becomes clear that this system could complement a tarot reading quite well.

How does the I-Ching work?

The Book of Changes is divided into what we might refer to as chapters, each of which is called a hexagram (in Chinese called a gua), which is a symbol that is arrived at after a systemized ritual that provides six lines. I often think of each hexagram in much the same way as a tarot card, or perhaps even an entire tarot reading in and of itself, and the ritual, such as a coin toss, as the shuffle.

There are 64 hexagrams in all, and each is formed of two trigrams, of which there are eight in all. Each trigram is named such because it is composed of three lines. The readings go into numerous possible permutations because each of the lines can also be determined through the casting process to be “changing” and this adds more depth to the overall reading and also can comment on possible future outcomes.

How can I-Ching complement a tarot reading?

Rather than this being a tutorial on the I-Ching, which is far beyond the scope of this post, I’d like to share with you how I use the I-Ching as part of my overall practice.

I find that the tarot and I-Ching provide complementary messages that overlap only in how they are able to pinpoint and highlight different aspects of the same question.

The tricky part is when the client hedges in identifying the meaning or wants to avoid the message.

I was looking for a question and at the moment I was writing this post I got a text message on my desktop and started chatting with an acquaintance. I asked if he had any pressing questions, and he agreed to be a willing participant in my experiment, but didn’t give any details about his situation or context.

His question for the cards was simply:

“Which is stronger: my desire to change or my fear of leaving?”

I don’t know much about this person at all; he’s an acquaintance, but someone I recently met and who isn’t very forthcoming about his personal life, so there’s really no way for me to hypothesize much about the meanings of these cards as they apply directly to him. He didn’t offer up much by way of what resonated, either, so we’ll just have to go on theory and practice.

In any case, I decided to go for an old-fashioned A or B for this one. When you have two options, it’s a nice way to put it out on the table and get a baseline idea. A (left) being “desire to change” and B (right) being “fear of leaving.”

Here’s what came up:

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I tell him: look, your desire to change is stronger. And I go on a little bit about the element and characteristics of the Knight of Wands, which I won’t go into here. That’s just a whole lot of fire, so, that desire for change is literally burning strong.

But you want to know what really intrigues me about these two cards? The story. Right? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

I go: “Here’s the thing. Who’s the woman? Because she’s tied to your fear of leaving.”

Now, generally speaking I don’t always assume court cards are real people, but when you’ve got two court cards of the same suit and close in age (woman slightly older or more mature here), you’d have to be blind not to make the connection, amirite?

We were chatting online as I read the cards. I asked no less than four times who the woman was or if there was a woman in the middle of whatever this question was about, and it got DODGED and DODGED and DODGED like a mean game of dodge ball and let me tell you I could not get a hit on this guy to save my life. So I let it go. As an out, I suggested it could be “interior conflict” rather than a real person, and he latched onto that. But you see, we already know there’s inner conflict: it’s at the heart of the question itself. I just provided it as a comfortable place to rest. It’s not important for me to force a client to see what I see. I make suggestions, and like spaghetti on a wall, I let what sticks, stick. It’s their reading, not mine, and the bottom line is that clients will see what they’re ready and willing to see.

I say: “Look, your desire to change is so strong that you’re actually riding away already. And you’re not looking at this woman, and she’s not looking at you. You’re looking in opposite directions. But you’re actively moving away while she’s just sitting there, more stable, more calm, more mature in her inner fire.” (A note on the Knight of Wands, FYI, at least according to my experience with the RWS deck: if you ever get a question about love, this is your quintessential player. The Knight of Wands in a love context often really just wants to play the field and does not want to settle down to save his life. He needs freedom, and even if that’s a psychological hang-up a lot of times, it comes out in a perpetual string of affairs because there’s a restlessness and a need for adventure.)

I say: “Ok, let’s do an I-Ching reading. How about ‘What’s the best thing for me to do now?'”

In my practice, I write the hexagrams I cast on pieces of paper as I’m doing them. Here’s what came up:

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Without going into the specifics of method (I actually just used three US quarters I found lying on my desk), here are the themes that emerged:

What’s the best thing for me to do now?
This gua expands on the truth of avoiding contention. It talks about how conflict and contention is a part of life, but it must be resolved in order to move forward. Huang: “Generally, dispute arises from one’s mean intention and overly self-willed conduct” (italics mine: Knight of Wands, anyone?) “lacking flexibility in considering other people’s situations.”

The idea here is to find common ground, to try to see eye to eye, and there’s a special focus on trying to clear some sort of blocked truth.

I go back to this not seeing eye to eye, as we saw in the tarot cards, not seeing each other, not looking at each other. “Who’s the woman?”

(I imagine the conflict is with this woman.)

I say: “Didn’t you have a girlfriend? Do you still have a girlfriend?”

He says: “Yes, but we hardly ever see each other.”

I about die. I go “AH. Right.”

I mean, people, really?

When I point out that this is what the cards have been trying to show him, he says, “That’s too simple.”

[My greatest tarot teacher ever, Enrique Enriquez, taught me many things, but one of the recurrent themes of my work with him was this: “Shelley, you need to be dumb to read the cards.” Every time I’d complicate things, he’d remind me BE DUMB. Meaning: read what you see. Don’t embellish, don’t overthink, don’t complicate. Just read.]

Anyways, you get the point. It was like a dog chasing its tail.

If I had to craft a story based on these narratives, I’d say there’s some sort of decision going on deep in this man’s psyche and on the surface of his mind that he’s wrestling with, and this woman is part of the fear that’s attached to whatever it is he means by “fear of leaving.” It doesn’t much matter, though, this stated fear, because he’s already mostly out the door anyways. She seems pretty cool with it, after all, she seems to accept his restless, playboy nature. Perhaps she has her eye on someone else. (I should have and could have tried Isabel’s sight card trick here. Damn!)

At the heart of this, and where the I-Ching comes in with specifics, is in pinpointing this need to find common ground, resolve disputes, and “unblock” truth before moving on. It’s almost as if it’s a shame, as if these two people are two pieces of a puzzle that would have otherwise fit together, if he weren’t so intent on running away. In fact the man himself made an interesting unsolicited comment at one point: “But if the woman had come up first, they would have been looking at each other.”

Indeed. And there wouldn’t be any question then, would there?

Hilary Barrett calls hexagram 6 “Arguing” and states “You’re in dispute with how it is.” (Italics hers.) The two moving lines five and six show that this is coming to a head anyways (he’s already riding away): “you have truths to seek and aspirations to follow, so make yourself heard” (Barrett, line 5); and yet, line 6: “there is no such thing as a final victory.” I take this to mean that running away isn’t going to necessarily help you find what you’re searching for, but, as Barrett says (line 6): “This is not the way to leave Arguing behind; it’s the way to trap yourself in a struggle for scraps, constantly hampered by the fear of loss.”

There’s much to unpack here. If you can debrief with clients to get their honest and unguarded feedback, lots of stuff can come out into the open. If, however, your client isn’t willing to open up, this can be a run around. You may find, however, that the client despite their best efforts to the contrary does somehow inadvertently slip once in a while into dropping a tidbit or two almost against their own will. This one, as we were chatting, kept denying there was a woman, and then his autocorrect inserted a woman’s name where he meant to say something about how he’s “too demanding with the world”—where the female name popped in before “the world,” inadvertently changing his intended statement to read “I’m too demanding with [woman] world.” The name wasn’t his girlfriend’s though, as far as I know. :-p

However, he insisted the question “wasn’t about love” and I told him I wasn’t insisting the message was about love, either. Here’s something most tarot readers will identify with: the cards respond to the question asked. The querent knows what’s behind that, but, confused and/or vague questions can generate confused and/or vague responses. However, in this case I think it was the cards showing a message that needed to get out, intentions behind questions be damned. It happens.

I dunno, folks. This is our service. We offer it up, we tell people what we see. But we absolutely cannot be attached to what they see. Tell it like it is. Say what you see. But let your sitters do the heavy lifting of applying the message to their lives and finding meaning in it—or not.

Thoughts?